Anxiety, phobias and insomnia

Published August 1, 2014 by tenderleaf

So this week I have been away visiting a lovely little caravan park in St Leonards just outside Hastings.  Usually I get some peace being away from tge stresses of everyday life especially the summer holidays… we plan all year specifically so we can get away for these 4-6 weeks intermittently so to avoid problems. But alas something not many people know I have phobias… now obviously spiders but it isn’t a paralysing crap myself help fear no it is deal able.  My worst phobias are wasps and bees.

So I am gonna set the scene… we pull up at caravan enter and it is nice and adequate for our needs, we have the dogs so nothing special this time around. It is stuffy so we open the windows to blow it through. Mum and John take jas to look around at the clubhouse so she gets familiar I stay with the dogs unpacking.
The horrific happens… I hear a buzzing there is a wasp.  I panic I want to vomit I feel dizzy I am not happy.  I run to my room slam the door and frantically text mum and John.  I do not leave the room! They come back within 5 mins which feels like hours to find another 3 wasps… 4 bloody wasps! I nearly have a heart attack.  I am still in room panicking.  Anyway hubby gets them shuts windows checks everything abd everywhere and comes to find me a quivering wreck. They assure me its over and all is gone and it was a random incident. .. I am swearing there must be  a nest for that many. They say no. We go to bed I am uneasy. … the next morning


Above not yhe actual pic of nest but you get the idea

There is a bloody nest behind our caravan… I want to vomit no one is allowed to touch the windows, I want to go home my senses are on overdrive I am not happy. Mum goes to ask us to be moved… no other caravans available. They did come and put something down it to get rid of them but it is a woidland site teaming with wasps.  I have spent a nightmare week trying to cope with my anxiety levels, I have ran away from my table in the club because of them it is sooo embarassing.
My daughter and husband once when I was in Lanzarote as we were walking around a shopping mall told me I had a wasp on/around me I dropped everything and practically stripped it is that bad while jumping up and down freaking.  My hubby prob didn’t realise at that point how bad my phobia is… that was about 4 years ago and it seems to be getting worse 2 years ago in turkey my daughter did it again by the pool I jumped in freaking fully clothed… i embarrased myself by running away from dinner table and having to eat inside this is not a good look. My daughter finds it funny and doesn’t quite get or care about tge ramifications of her actions… hello autism.
So how do I cope with these irrational phobias? at present it feels like it is taking over my life.


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